I am so dreading Christmas this year.
November 12, 2009
filed under: 2009, Christmas
Not for this holiday it self, I love the holiday time. The lights the tree, the smell the visits with family, church Christmas Eve. Last year was tough because it was the first one without the STBX, money was non existent than but my world was still in complete and utter disarray it didn’t matter. We made it through the holidays by re-gifting Matt’s old toys from the basement for Emmy, that huge old wooden train set was a big hit. My parents and their dad gave them some new toys so we managed.
This year money is even tighter, with STBX losing his job a few weeks ago its not just me with no money but him too. Matt’s birthday was practically as non-existent as mine this year. We at least got a wonderful dinner and he got some fun money for a field trip to the state capital. His dad also bought him an XBOX game so he did ok. Thank goodness he understands, Emmy doesn’t.
This holiday season we are going to a play, thanks to my parents, the day after we all get off school. We’ll probably hit a museum with my parents, and my folks will take Matt someplace to get him away from Emmy for awhile. So its not like we are doing nothing, but I know they won’t be showered with toys I will probably try to get Emmy the one thing she especially likes, and trick her into thinking she is showered with toys- those old Rescue Hero’s from Matt are still down stairs. So we’ll fake it for her, Matt I have no clue.
I am so very thankful for what we do have, don’t get me wrong I know that there are many people a lot worse off than we are. I just think I’m sad for myself and the kids and need a bit of a pity party for myself. Before I put the smile back on and make the Holidays as completely and utterly magical for the kids as I can.
